Remember that when you're upset you do have some control over how you feel. You can take charge of the situation and do what you can to make yourself feel better! Or, you can think or act in ways that will ultimately lead to self-sabotage. You are the master of your emotions; you can keep them under control! -Eddy Selby

Hi, I don't trust you.

I'm not naive anymore but I also don't like how I don't trust easily anymore. I'm scared to trust people... I know I should not base any of my decisions from the events that happened in the past but I don't want to get hurt anymore because of trust issues.

I have a lot of expectations for myself...

I hope,and I want to be a volunteer at the aquarium. I hope I passed the interview... or I'm going to be pretty damn disappointed. I need to do well on the AP test even though I know I'm not going to...UGH. I don't want to get myself into some stupid relationship again, I don't know if I can trust any guy anymore. I need to win my matches and improve in Tennis, I have to admit I'm pretty proud of how good I am compared to not even knowing how to hit the ball a year ago. I need to focus on school, my grades are going WAY down. I know this is selfish but I need to focus on myself as a person and just calm down from all this stress.

I miss you.

I miss it when you used to wait by the window for me to come home.
I miss it when you would greet me with kisses and a goofy smile.
I miss it when you used to cheer me up.
I miss it when you would play with me and make my day.
I miss it when you would immediately just want to snuggle.
I miss it when you used to just fall asleep on my chest.
I miss it when you would kiss me even when I think it's grossssss.
I miss it when you would get scared of trash bags... and then I'd run around the house chasing you with it.

I MISS YOU PEANUT!!!

OHMYGAWSH, I WANT MY DOG BACK! :'(

AP is killin' me

Cry cry cry :'(
Anyways, so I was on the way to the mall today and I witnessed a guy jaywalking er, running in a busy street... right in front of our car! It was some scary sh*eeet. I mean seriously, he was so frantically running to get across the street that he TRIPPED in the middle of the road!! OHMYGOODNESS... it was crazy! How could he risk his life to get across the street! How could he just take his life so lightly like that. That's what crosswalks are for dummy, so people can avoid getting hit by a car! And he's pretty damn lucky that he didn't get hit. He should be thanking God right now that he's alive.
So yup, that's my random thought of the day... :)
back to AP :( ...boohoooo

Oh Sunny Day

Today was a beautiful day, the sun was out, hey it was even somewhat warm (spots where the sun hit you)! But why... why... DID THERE HAVE TO BE BEES EVERYWHERE?!?! OHMYGAWSH! So I found out bees are attracted to dark colors because you know their enemies are black bears or whatever. Guess what? I was wearing BLACK jeans and a HUGE bee kept on following me as I was walking home from the bus! I was already paranoid because I hate riding the bus home (it's my second time this year tehe)especially since it takes like 1/2 an hour to get home, and I was squished to death on the bus! A girl sat next to me, and then another er... BIGGER girl sat next to her and I was so uncomfortable! Hahaha Anyways, the bee...it was buzzing and bumping around my legs, scariest bug! I haven't even been stung by a bee before and I'm still terrified of them... >.< I was walking and eep-ing and trying to escape the wrath of the HUGE bee.
Oh so embarrassing!
This totally reminds me of the DECA competition when a "bee" started to fly around me during the test and I was f-f-f-freaking out so bad. hahah I was twitchin' and eep-ing and surrounded by what ... like a hundred or two people. It ended up being a fly. YAY. Except, I also HATE FLIES. And the worst part was that it was HUMONGOUS, like one of those horse flies! It landed on my paper upside down... I didn't even want to look at it... ughhhhh. Thank goodness Michelle was there to rescue me. Phew.

I don't care if anyone thinks I'm a girly girl for writing a blog about this... BEES, FLIES, SPIDERS, ALL THEM BUGS...THEY NASTYYYY!

...I am forever scarred.

Innocence?

I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't steal and I'm not going to anytime soon. I'm not hitting up the parties, cracking the bottles, smoking a joint. Nawww, I'm better than that. I have my morals. Hah the craziest thing I've ever done is making out with a guy who was/is pretty much a stranger. Which I kind of regret but I try not to regret. I was caught off guard and BAM! His lips were all over the place... Hahahah. But hey, I'm not a naive little girl either. I just believe that I don't have to prove to anyone that I can down them bottles or what ever. I'm not gonna lie I want to experience the crazy parties or whatever but I can wait, hopefully I won't go back on my word and be a hypocrite...